Tuesday, January 8, 2013

How Cats Do It

1. Time Travel
Though specifics are still unclear, we do know that the ability to time travel is linked to high voltage created by fur to air friction as a result of extensive purring.  Cats however, are very careful about never being caught time travelling.  You will note however that if you are a cat owner, you've no doubt seen the incredible phenomena, while not realizing it.  Has your cat ever just seemed to drop in out of nowhere?  If you answered yes, you've probably witnessed feline time travel. 

2. Look so cute

Cats act innocent and easy going even when subjected to lame new ideas you may have.  They only do this to gain a better foothold on your trust, which they will eventually use to their advantage in some deviant scheme.

3. Act
Cats are masters of  personality and physical morphing, able to weave themselves into nearly any role and are greatly convincing once in character.  Here we see with just very simple makeup how this cat transforms himself instantly and ever so convincingly into SpongeBob SquarePants. 

4. Master Zen

 The cat's mastery of Zen can easily be explained by the innate feline ability to posture themselves into various positions that would make most other animals look stupid.  Conversely, the cat seems to look all the more mystical, always maintaining their arrogant and cooler-than-thou attitude.

5. Here is how they decorate for Christmas

6. Know so much

Cats often amass information by bullying smaller, or less fortunate creatures.  Simply put, they are great at intimidating others for their own gain.  Ultimately, the lack of compassion for those around them leads to the practice of killing, sometimes even eating the informants they find are no longer supplying useful information.

 7. Seem to understand subtle human nuances.

Cats have mastered Astrology, and as shown in the first picture above study Eastern mystic practices from Reiki to Palm reading from an early age.  They also watch a lot of TV.

8. See number 2

9. Here we see a young kitten training intensely to become a champion boxer.

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