Sunday, July 31, 2011

You Must Be Joking!

Here are some jokes that might liven up your Monday morning if you can remember them until then.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Saturday, July 30, 2011


Quite an animal

Now that's shitty!

Bee in your bonnet

Scares the crap outta me!

Yin Yang


Pringles anyone?

Lady Liberty

Disco anyone?

Very Strange indeed

Friday, July 29, 2011

COOL MUSIC FRIDAY #31 - The Rescues


The Rescues are an American rock band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 2008. Their music can be classified as Indie Pop/Rock, and is notable for its use of 4-part vocal harmonies (all 4 members are singers as well as multi-instrumentalists).

"The Rescues" were formed in 2008 by singer/songwriters and multi instrumentalists Kyler England, Rob Giles, Adrianne Gonzalez and Gabriel Mann, who met while performing on the singer-songwriter circuit in L.A.. While all members had experienced individual success prior to forming the group,  the group has proved to be greater than the sum of its parts, sometimes described as an "Indie Supergroup".  In addition to TV placements, many of their songs have won, and achieved honorable mentions in prestigious songwriting contests such as the John Lennon Songwriting Contest and the International Songwriting Competition.  

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Not Always Pretty

Celebrities seem like they are always photogenic, unlike us regular folk.  At least half of the photos of me seem to either look like I'm drunk, I just saw a ghost, I've recently had a stroke, or that I'm a complete goofball.  Well, celebrities aren't completely immune to the occasional "Bad Shot" either, and here is the proof...