Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Some Signs You're Not Enjoying Thanksgiving

1. Your friends are at the dinner table nude.

2. You're 28 years old and still being seated at the kiddie table.

3. The wine you brought is gone before dinner is served, and Mom is slurring her speech.

4. You find the bag of giblets stuck to your scoop of turkey cooked stuffing.

5. You suddenly notice you're the only one eating the green bean casserole, while the host's kids point at you with each bite and laugh.

6. The eggnog is brown.

7. You can't help but notice the host's cat is walking across the table, stepping on each plate as he makes his way across, just before everyone is to be seated and served.

8. You find a Rhubarb leaf in your slice of pie.  Soon after you are seeing double.

9.  Your wife / girlfriend / mom demands you wear this...
10. The turkey looks like this...

11. You're served this...

12. The turkey is crumbling as it's sliced.  Mmmmm!

13. A mix up between your Mom and Aunt yields NO TURKEY because each one thought the other was bringing it.

14. Your Dad and Cousin are competing for comic of the year all day long by spouting bad puns and off-color jokes like "I'm eating way to much, I'm going to have to quit cold turkey" or "After eating this dinner, sleeping is going to come so naturally to me, I'll be able to do it with my eyes closed"! 

Happy Holidays Everyone!


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